Winter and Andrew another One on One

[brentjoyce]

It was the middle of the night and the moon stood perfectly above the world placing a faint laminating light down on a tiny ship making the passage from London to Italy. The rocking of the ship made Winter restless, he had not closed his eyes for some rest the entire trip. He finally overcame his sea sickness the night before when he emptied all that was left of his meals he had over the side of the bow. At that moment he sat in a small cot on the brig, his head nodding back and forth with the sway of the sea. Winter had never felt so miserable in his life. He felt helpless on the vast sea. There was no were to hide on the small wooden passenger ship that he was on. Eventually Winter begun to feel sick and made his way up to the deck of the ship. He held tight on the railing as he made his way up the stairs and opened the small wooden door that led to the deck.

On deck Winter walked with a stagger because of the gentle rocking of the ship. That is when he spotted a man at the bow standing and looking over the edge into the vast abyss of the night. The shadowy silhouette was leaning over the bars and looked just as tired as he did. Winter made his way closer to the man and that is when he noticed that it was the vampire from before that held Adrien back. The memories of that night were still fresh in Winter’s mind this entire time he wondered why.

Why did Annabelle not kill him?

Why did Annabelle trust him enough to bring him into her coven?

Why did Andrew hold Adrien back?

But, at the moment that was the only thing on Winter mind. Why did Andrew hold Adrien back? The rage and the pinned up anger that he must of felt; Adrien had every right to kill Winter. It was equivalent exchange a life for a life. Cassandra’s life was worth more than the value of his own in Winter’s mind. At least Cassandra had friends, and a family. All he ever had was his meaningless hatred for vampires and his blade. When Adrien made that jump at Winter he was so prepared to die. It was only natural to him for that event to occur. Then, Andrew stepped in the way and held him back. Why?

What was Andrew reason for doing what he did? What made him stop someone he knew so well from killing someone he knew nothing about?

Winter looked up and even though Andrew back was turned to him he asked in a clear and calm voice.

“Why?”

“Why did you hold him back?”

[Andrew Baron]

Should I jump?


The water looked awfully cold, like the mere shock of the temperature would kill a man before the salt ever ate into his lungs. Several lanterns hung about the decks, lit, but one flickered out with every strong gust that skidded over the tops of the waves. Fog condensed about the glass of them until all light but the moon extinguished. Andrew wasn't afraid of the darkness, only saddened by it, so he stayed on the deck, not even disturbed by the occasional crew member that scurried past him to bed.
His fingers drifted along the wooden railing, smooth and polished along the delicate skin. He leaned forward, his shoulders arched over as he dared to peer down into the shivering depths below.
The ship parted the waves as it moved through the sea, powerless, subject to the weather's whims, and for one despairing moment Andrew wished the water would swallow them all, unmoved by the difference between flesh and floorboard.
He stretched his hands down the railing and lowered his chin so that he could feel the rocking motions more strongly. They cradled him, and made him dream of the peace and adventure he could only find in his hopes.

He thought about the others down below, all of them probably asleep even in the night, just from the mere lack of desire to arise, to go on just yet. He never spoke a word about it, but he heard Sienna and Adrien weeping in their sleep, and it twisted his heart into knots each time.
He preferred to spend his time on the decks where he didn't have to listen to the others speak only in whispers. The quiet disturbed him too much in there.
Up here, the waves rocked the ship like music. And he could mourn the life he left behind without the helpless looks of pity the others were so capable of.

Mourn.
Andrew wanted to kill himself.
His foot kicked the railing gently, and in one swelling movement of a wave, the ship leaned forward. He had to hold on to keep from falling over, but he wanted to let go. The rolling motion ceased, and Andrew even noted out loud that he missed his chance.

He wanted to jump, but he resisted. Perhaps because didn't think death was an option for him-


His thoughts scattered at the sound of Winter's footfall on the floorboards. He didn't want to talk to anyone, no matter who it was, but Winter spoke first.

Andrew's shoulders shuddered.

Why?

Without looking up, Andrew answered softly-

"We are all murderers."

[brentjoyce]

"We are all murderers."

Winter wasn’t expecting this answer but it was true.

Winter briefly thought to himself. How many lives has he ended? Ever since that night when his family was taken away from him he has had nothing but a lust for revenge. Revenge meant murder, killing the one who had taken his life away from him. Along the way Winter forgot his revenge and just went on a killing spree of anything vampire. At this point Winter lost count of how many vampires he killed. He use to keep count in a diary a tally for everyone one he killed. But, he lost that ages ago.

Winter moved forward and leaned against the rail along side of Andrew looking out into the dark sea. his nails clinching onto the rail in fear of tipping over into the cold water. The breeze made his hair dance over his eyes obscuring his vision.

Without even thinking about Winter asked “How many lives have you taken?”

Andrew was a vampire he needed to live of human blood so he was bound to at least kill a few people, or a dozen, or more depending on how long he had been around. Winter had always had a blood lust and he tired to never give into it. But, every now and then he would lose control of himself and feast on the scum of society. For some time he tried to justify his actions but he never could.

[Andrew Baron]

Andrew set his jaw as he gazed into the moonlit waters. The last lantern on the deck behind them shivered out, and they were bathed in nothing but the eerie sky light.

He could not explain it, but Winter's presence beside him comforted him, probably because his were the first successful attempts at conversation he'd heard since they left London.


He felt sick to his stomach when Winter asked this question, that Andrew was ashamed to not know the answer to.
Needles slipped down his dry throat as he spoke his answer, all pride dying instantly away-

"The evening I struck one hundred, I lost count.


Oh, don't look at me that way." Andrew sneered, assuming, even though he did not look away from the sea, that Winter made a face. "You wanted to know. That's why I saved you. It would have been hypocrisy to let Adrien kill you. Because I'm no better than you are when it comes down to blood. And you know it. That's why you became a slayer in the first place. Come to think of it," and he said it aimed like an arrow, to scar, to maim the man beside him, "You spill the blood to stop the bloodshed. Aren't you a little hypocrit yourself? That's why I saved you. Because being a hypocrit is worse than being a fucking murderer."


Is it?

Andrew wanted to jump again because he was sorry he said it.

[brentjoyce]

The aim of Andrew’s words hit Winter right where it hurt. He gripped the rail so hard that his nails pealed of a thin layer of wood. The thought was something he had is wrestling with for some time. Why did he kill vampires when he was one? Then it came clear to Winter why, why he killed some many countless vampires.

Winter’s tone of voice lowered to a cold whisper “Let it be known Andrew that I never intended to stop the bloodshed. I only wanted revenge. I only wanted to kill the one who took my life away from me.”

Winter’s eyes squinted as he looked out into the darkness.

“I killed scores of vampires to get that one nameless vampire that killed my family. All of them dead for what?”

Winter paused taking in a deep breath.

“What Andrew?”

It was a rhetorical question, which He quickly answered on his own.

“For blood for food, but it didn’t end there no that one vampire killed not only my mother but my father as well… and me… he left me alive but diseased. He left me to become a vampire like him. From the moment I knew I was a vampire I vowed revenge.”

Winter now looked Andrew straight in the eyes with harden experience. “I didn’t know who that vampire was so I took it out on all the vampires I could find. For some time I thought that every vampire I killed knew each other that vampires were tight groups but I was wrong. Vampires were like humans they didn’t all know each other. I begun to doubt what I did but I was knee deep in blood.”

“So I kept going, I kept killing”

Winter looked down at his shoes now “and then that one night when Annabelle held my life in her hands! A vampire with the chance to kill me and she didn’t do she showed mercy.”

Winter finish his thought he didn’t know where to go with what he had said he was at a loss for words.

[Andrew Baron]

"Then at least you are a good man. Just an ignorant one."

An angry tear shattered the stillness of Andrew's face, rushing down, plopping onto the railing and merging with the salt of the sea.

"That's more than I can say.



You killed my kind because you didn't understand.

I killed mortals knowing full well I was once one of them. I faced death in my life. I knew the emptiness of losing a loved one like anyone else.

Yet here I am. I've caused hundreds of families to don the burial black-"

But he stopped himself because it no longer made sense. Was his story so much different than Winter's? Did it come down to the bare boned facts of it all?
Simply that two murderers stood together at the rail talking, and that if any justice existed in the world, maybe the boat would toss them both into the sea-

Andrew found his head aching from the image of Winter, still so young, coping with the violence,t he death, the brutality that Andrew caused mortals each evening of his life.

He wanted to vomit over the railing at the thought of the difference that did exist between he and Winter. The one, tiny difference-

"You didn't choose this life." he said comfortingly. "You can't blame yourself. You didn't know."

[brentjoyce]

Its true Winter didn’t decide to live his life as a vampire. That choice was made for him. But, despite that fact Winter chose every action afterwards. Winter could have easily been just another vampire. He desired to follow a path of revenge instead a path he still had not finished. Winter had no way of telling if he ever got the vampire that killed his family, he never had a way of telling because he could never positively identify the vampire in the first place. It was vampire there for anything thing vampire was evil in his eyes. But, now he chose to put this blind revenge aside and follow the vampire Annabelle.

Winter though over the statement Andrew present one more time. Then he closed his eyes and sighed.

“I never chose to be one, but every choice after that even if they were ignorant at the time that doesn’t change the fact that what I did was wrong.”

Winter looked down in the sea. The ship tilted a bit and he felt his lower body brace the side of the rail. He tipped backwards to keep his balance.

“Now that you know all about, may I ask what made you a vampire?”

[Andrew Baron]

ooc: just a warning, i got into telling the story, so its rather long....appologies hope you dont get bored i just dont think ive written this part of andrews past before. im still not entirely settled on it, but here goes

Did he even remember?

Andrew breathed in the ocean's mist, diving deep into his memories for the answer to Winter's brutal question. How many years ago? At least ten, maybe twenty...? He lost track of the years as the nights welded one into the other. Years hardly mattered to a man who could live forever, so he stopped recognizing their comings and goings.

After a moment or so of concentrated silence, the moment flew back to him. The piles of books, the stranger on the balcony, the motion of mortal and immortal bodies under sheets-

"I told the others," he began softly, as if even in their beds two decks below the others could hear him. "-that I carried a one night affair with a stranger from Vienna. She had beautiful yellow hair, like mine, and eyes bluer than my own. She intended to slay me, a weak mortal, but in our passion she changed me, and left me in this sorrowful state."

He paused, suddenly filled with a desire to tell the truth to Winter, whom he was hardly acquainted with. Maybe this man could understand, maybe. Maybe he wouldn't be disgusted-

No. Andrew reminded himself. Disgusting stories deserved to be treated that way. His hands gripped the railing so hard his knuckles gleamed white, and he resisted the tears from memories of his mortal years.

"I was nineteen years old. I had just finished my first year at Oxford. According to my father I was going to be a businessman like him, and I needed a fitting education-" here he rolled his eyes with a small smile at his former self, and then he continued. "My father was a merchant, wealthy, too sly with the purse, to greedy for his own good, and he made a fortune even larger than the one he inherited from our ancestors. He made people angry and jealous as well, and in a rough English village, I can't even remember which one, he met his end. A mob of those who'd been cheated by his hands in business found some way to convict him of crimes worthy of a hanging.
I don't like to talk about it.
Most men have seen public executions in the streets before. They happen everyday. But it's different when it happens to someone you knew and always thought was invincible.

Winter, the look in his eyes was unbearable, like in his dying moment he'd just glimpsed eternity and found that it was empty.

I couldn't face that.

And I was suddenly filled with the determination that I never would.

I didn't want to return to Oxford that fall, but my uncle persuaded me (with the force of the back of his hand) to return for a second year. I wouldn’t want to throw my life away would I? Didn’t I want to make my father’s memory proud? So I found myself back at university. I made it through three months, sitting in the back of my classes in this despair I could not rid myself of. My desire to avoid what all men must face became more than a fear- it became my obsession. I spent long hours in the library, delving into everything I'd ever learned about mortality. I could not recall any instance of a man cheating death, none at all, other than in fiction or useless legends. Every man who ever lived would die, and that included me.

Maybe fate hit me on the back of the head on the night that marked the third month since my return to school. I was the last pupil to leave the library, and as I gathered my books with my usual frustration of finding nothing, I felt a sharp, heavy object slam into the back of my head.

Crying out, I dropped everything in my arms and moved a hand to rub the back of my skull. With an irritated whimper, I brought my hand in front of a nearby lantern and saw a few drops of smeared blood from where I’d touched my head. An eerie chill overcame me, and I fumbled on the dark floor for everything I’d dropped.
Then I spotted it. An old leather bound, handwritten journal that belonged to one of the professors. Abandoned and unloved research work.

By the light of the lantern, my bloodstained fingers flipped open the fragile pages. And there I found my answer-

Vampires.

I read the book cover to cover that night, and when morning struck I’d already left Oxford far behind me. It was a silly idea to chase, I tried to tell myself. But I couldn’t keep my obsession under control. I traveled to all the places the book mentioned where sightings occurred- Athens, Rome, Paris, and I found nothing to validate the legends I’d read.

I returned to London with disappointment on my side, not bothering to plot my next attempt, this time in Spain. I’d almost forgotten about my father. I could have been dead for all my uncle knew, for I gave no word. And I never returned a single letter my friends sent me. I was half living the life I was going to achieve already.
But it was in London of all places that I finally met what I searched for the past year- a vampire, coy, beautiful, and above all immortal. Her naivety shocked me, and although she lusted for my blood, I knew from the moment my eyes gazed into hers that she lusted more for my body. She was lonely, horribly miserable and lonely, and hoped I would numb the pain she felt. She’d never lain with a man before, and I brutally used her because of this.
I wanted what she had to offer so badly that I convinced her to give into her passions. I courted her, made love to her, and let her feel as if there was a point to her endless existence. In exchange, she granted me what I asked of her- one single bite.
The evening after she changed me into what I am now, she must have realized what she’d done and that it had only made her lonelier, because when I awoke the moon shone brightly into my eyes, and I never saw the beautiful traveler from Vienna again.

So that is my long and involved story,”

He stopped talking for a moment, wondering how much of it still made sense when he pieced back his memories. He could just smell the perfume on the woman’s wrist as he bit into the flesh of her arm-

“And yes, Winter, I searched for all of this knowing full well that I would have to end another man’s life to save my own- I was a murderer before I ever set foot into this second life.”

[brentjoyce]

Winter felt himself let go of the rail the feeling in his gut was one of disgust. The wood panels under his feet creaked with every backward step he took. His heart was dead, but if he was alive he knew that right now it would be beating at a high pace. Winter griped his cold motionless chest and his eyes were filled with confusion.

“You want this?

You want to live forever; you wanted to live every night knowing that you had to kill innocent people?!? Here I am a total monster, in every aspect. I am an ignorant dolt; I killed for a single meaningless purpose. And you? You just wanted to make a bid for immortality. You wanted to cheat death in sense didn’t you?

I…

I only wanted to seek death; I went to great lengths to find it. For the longest time death was behind me, everywhere I went death followed. Not once did it ever occur to me that I would live forever nor did I ever intended it to.”

Winter begun to bend over into a little ball on the deck of this ship rocking himself back and forth

“I was so ready, every time I hunted in the back of the mind I was like this could be the one, the vampire to kill me. You know what? I didn’t care; I was like it would end my misery. It would end my pathetic life and its singular goal. Every now and then I hoped…

No I prayed!

I prayed for death to catch up to me, I hoped to look it in the eye and just breathe my last and transition in to nothing. But, it never happened.

But, then it happened

I cracked all in one night with no warning all that I was able to bottle up came out to a vampire I didn’t even know. At first I thought she was death. I stared at her when she sunk her fangs into me and notice that I was of the same disease and when I stared her in the eyes I was fearful. I was scared, I didn’t want to die. At that moment I did everything in my power to live. I literally broke into a million pieces that night letting it all out to this complete stranger. And then the most ludicrous thing happened. She let me live she let me walk, she prolonged my life.

In a sense I died that night, the vengeful bottled up Winter died that night.”

Winter finish his thought. Then he looked up at Andrew he just went on a completely random tangent. He recollected his thoughts again.

“I am sorry what I meant was do you regret your decision? Being able to live forever?”

[glamorousgnome]

The wind grew bitter against his face and the ship bucked again. Somewhere on the other side of the ship, a few members of the crew scuttled across the floorboards to tend to the boxes sliding about on the deck. Andrew nearly fell over the railing, and as he bit his lip against the salt, sea spray, he thought of all Winter said about wanting death, so different than what Andrew sought-

“Regret?”

He paused at this question thoughtfully, with sadness in his dark, tenor voice. “Sometimes I hate myself, I must admit.”
Silence.

Clouds now moved over the moon, and the ship was blanketed in thick, moisture, resting in a sleepy, sigh from the shivering mast. The creaking of the ship against the force of the sea cast an eerie atmosphere over the two men, and at this moment every mortal on the ship found themselves indescribably covered with goose bumps.

“I thought of killing myself,” he continued softly, the rhythm of his words like the heartbeats he smothered. “Many times. But I’d never go through with it.

Cheating death, Winter?

I wouldn’t call it cheating. This isn’t a card game.
I call it wit.
Sometimes it’s lonely.
But death, I just- I don’t know. What if there is nothing, maybe disappointment, as I glimpsed in my father’s eyes, then that is perhaps worse. So I continue on.

So I have no regrets. I toss them all aside.
And I suggest, Winter, if you want to survive in this life- that you do the same.

There is no going back now.”

[brentjoyce]

“That is true.

There is not going back now. I cannot undue all that has happened to me. The people that I killed will forever be dead. The lives I have destroyed will never be repieced together. The nights that I spend hunting can never be undone. The death of …”

Winter stopped what he was about to say.

“I can never be human again. I can’t scum to old age. But, I have to disagree with you. Life is a game. It is a game of chess. Every piece has its purpose. I remember a saying from a great chess player ‘to win a game in a few moves is easier, then it is to win a game in many.’”

The rocking of the ship made Winter tip a bit and he stumbled to the ground on his butt. A wave crashed over the side of the ship and the mist sprayed the two of them. The sea salt finding its way in to the nostrils of Winter. He was filled with a burning sensation. This caused him to sneeze. Winter tried to regain his composure. He planted his hand and begun to get up.

“Do you know what that means Andrew to us?”

[glamorousgnome]

Clumsy jackass.

Andrew did not bother to help Winter up, and instead turned his back to the cloudcovered sky, and fumbled with a cigarette from his pocket, watching the man struggle to his feet. The matches dampened from the fog, and after he struck three, he gave up, and returned to his other nervous habit- drumming his fingers against the ship railing. Five fingers, over and over and over again.
"What does that mean for us?"
He really wanted that cigarette, so he swallowed in his throat a few times. This only added to his irritation, and suddenly he sneered at Winter,
"I don't know.
And I've stopped caring.
I could agree with your chess statement.
Like a game, the rules that once applied to me no longer do.
So fine-
I cheat.

And maybe you think you're better at chess than me.
But the truth is, I don't take the game seriously anymore.

Fair enough?

What this means for you and I, is that we can no longer live in London. We have to live in fucking Italy. And I don't speak Italian!

And death or no death, chess or no chess, we're going to be eating-" here he put on a loud and rattling false accent "-antipasta tortellini- for one hell of a long time."

Damn, why wouldn't the matches light? He really wanted that cigarette!

[brentjoyce]

“I am sorry that it had to come to this Andrew.”

Winter got up and made his way to Andrew side again at the rails. The ship begun to tip again and Winter held onto the rail with tense hands. He looked down into the sea. Deep down inside Winter thought I was all his fault he ruined everyone’s life on that ship. He took away someone they all loved. If it wasn’t for his mindless killings Cassandra would be alive.

“I am sorry, that I…”

Winter thought back to that night. The blood still stained his cloths. The blood was all he could remember. He lost complete control when he killed her. He nearly hacked her to pieces; the blood of the impure child was all over the walls and the ceilings of that woman’s home.

“I am sorry…”

Winter could not say it he couldn’t say what he did to her or her name. He felt a tear begun to form in his eye. He took his arm and wiped his head with his sleeve. In his mind he tried his hardest to fight the emotion, and the memories. But, one after another they came. Winter hung his head low with a tired sigh.

“I got no idea where to go from here Andrew. I don’t even know if what I am doing is right.”

Winter begun to speed up the pace of his voice “I don’t know if my future is with this coven, it’s hard because I have ended one of your lives and here I am taking ones place. But I bet the other two men hate me. I bet Adrien’s blood boils when he sees me. I bet he would love to see me dead. I bet he is like me. I don’t blame him though. But I don’t want to die by his hands.”

[glamorousgnome]

"Didn't I already say it?"

Andrew's eyes narrowed as he gazed at the darkness in front of him, with only a slight, narrow gasp of the moon now reaching through the clouds to give him solace. The fraction of light reflected off his eyes, asking the saddest, but most human question- why do people die? i'm so afraid-

"I hate hypocrisy. Adrien won't touch you while I'm living."

He meant these words when he said them, yet he doubted Adrien would ever strike even one blow again at Winter, because what is done is done, what is the past is the past, and Adrien is a murderer too.

"Do you know what I've done? I'm the bringer of death to this coven. If it wasn't for me, the traitor-

I couldn't stand the thought of it."

Here he flinched and the light died from the sky and his eyes at once. Sadness overwhelmed him, hatred, anger, brutal self-disgust.

"The man's knife cutting into my gut. I couldn't bare it. I'm a traitor. I gave away all our names, our locations.
If it wasn't for me, you would have never known where to find us."


Shifting eyes, a movement of the lips, parched from breathing in the sea salt without a drop of fresh water for hours.

"I'm afraid even as a coven, we are often poor company to each other- we fight, we swear, we lie, we hate.
You will fit in quite well."

He hadn't meant it as an insult, just a fact, and at this, he retreated several steps away from the railing and stretched his hands high behind his head.
"It's going to rain tonight. I can feel it in the air.
It should make for a sleepless tomorrow.

Cassandra's death was inevitable, perhaps fate. Isn't it inhuman, out of line with the universe, to make the innocent become the bloodstained? The corruption is foul, ugly, and I'm sorry it happened, her death I mean, but corruption-"

He lost his train of thought and shrugged, the image of the little girl disappearing quickly from his mind. He felt numb, immediately, and a little sick in the stomach too, so he folded his arms over his chest and declared,

"I don't even know what to think anymore.

These are the darkest times I have ever faced."

Immediately the image flew to him, of his father's body dropping off the platform and his neck snapping at the hangman's rope-

"And I do mean that. I know you feel disconnected- but the only way to survive in this life is to mind each other. You were a monster because you lived alone."

[brentjoyce]

“Thank you.”

These were the only words that came to mind when Andrew was finished. Winter felt like he built a bond with this man. Even though they both came from different walks of like Winter felt like they had some understanding that was reached with Andrew. The talk made him more open to the idea of staying with the coven. For awhile he though no one would talk to him and that he would be Annabelle’s shadow but now he saw that maybe he had a chance in this coven. Maybe for once in his life he would be accepted for what he was.

A tear went down his eye and trickled down to the wooden hand rail. He wiped his face with his sleeve. Winter turned and look at Andrew.

“I have never talked to someone this long in my life as a vampire. Ever… Thank you Andrew, you have made it clear that I belong here. You have helped me out enormously in coping with this current situation.”

In the back of Winter mind what Andrew stuck out to him.

“I know you feel disconnected- but the only way to survive in this life is to mind each other. You were a monster because you lived alone."