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Post by theliontamer♥ on Nov 16, 2006 21:48:21 GMT -8
o rly now?
what, king of the movie date or something?
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Post by lions_go_rawr on Nov 16, 2006 21:49:03 GMT -8
;D
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Andrew Baron
In Character
Professional Manwhore
69%
The Hat is On...But That's About It...
Posts: 104
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Post by Andrew Baron on Nov 16, 2006 21:49:30 GMT -8
You'll see...Ok in my next post...........I will have advice up..... Prepare yourself
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Post by theliontamer♥ on Nov 16, 2006 21:50:31 GMT -8
well that seems like an awfully self-assured cheesy grin.
so, what, one person believes this, and that's yourself?
heheheee
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Post by lions_go_rawr on Nov 16, 2006 21:53:28 GMT -8
no.
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Post by theliontamer♥ on Nov 16, 2006 21:54:08 GMT -8
no?
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Post by lions_go_rawr on Nov 16, 2006 21:54:57 GMT -8
well, yeah. i well, uh. shutting up now
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Post by theliontamer♥ on Nov 16, 2006 21:55:14 GMT -8
now i'm curious. do tell....pwease?
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Post by lions_go_rawr on Nov 16, 2006 21:57:31 GMT -8
its a surprise
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Post by theliontamer♥ on Nov 16, 2006 21:57:55 GMT -8
oyevey. you and your surprises. haha. tis it a good oneeee?
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Post by lions_go_rawr on Nov 16, 2006 21:58:27 GMT -8
yup
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Post by theliontamer♥ on Nov 16, 2006 21:58:47 GMT -8
telll meeee?
-ish still waiting for andrew's "esteemed" column-
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Andrew Baron
In Character
Professional Manwhore
69%
The Hat is On...But That's About It...
Posts: 104
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Post by Andrew Baron on Nov 16, 2006 22:00:29 GMT -8
its coming
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Andrew Baron
In Character
Professional Manwhore
69%
The Hat is On...But That's About It...
Posts: 104
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Post by Andrew Baron on Nov 16, 2006 22:08:20 GMT -8
Alright gentlemen, so it is Friday or Saturday night and you've got a date to the movies.
Movies are good. You don't have to talk to the girl as much. And for all you blind daters, if she turns out to be ugly, it'll be dark in there. For all you shy guys, movies are ice breakers. Trust me.
So first of all, before you even ask the girl which movie, you should check out the lists of movies
For example, currently:
Borat Night of the Living Dead 3D Stranger Than Fiction Happy Feet (GEESH not a good year for movies) Saw 3 Babel A Good Year And soon, Tenacious D
(and the biggest letdown is that there are no movies about vampires........i call that prejudiced)
Ahem So next when you see the list of movies, think about the girl you've just asked out.
If she's a prep, chances are Saw 3 will scare the shit out of her. If she's a punk, chances are Happy Feet will scare the shit out of her. So make your choices wisely.
I have to mention this to Adrien though GO SEE BORAT. It'll offend the hell out of you and I want to watch you be insulted. It is fun.
Next step, don't even bother cheaping out and saying well the tickets will be available at the gate. Yeah. Have fun with that Especially if she's a whore. Chances are by the time you get up to the box office she'll be hanging on that other guy's arm.
Next step is popcorn. All girl's love popcorn. If you're into getting laid that night, share a bag. (see? is this advice so randy that you have to call me a whore, anabelle?) Specifically pick a theater with chairs that have the arm rests that you can put up if you need several seats to stretch out and..... ahem.
(more coming in a minute, sorry it snot entertaining
but ill have the rest in a moment)
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Andrew Baron
In Character
Professional Manwhore
69%
The Hat is On...But That's About It...
Posts: 104
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Post by Andrew Baron on Nov 16, 2006 22:19:57 GMT -8
So anyway, make sure you select a film that is an aphrodesiac.
I personally recommend those soft, romantic movies, where the girl starts to feel good about herself and slowly edges closer....
Whilst I'm on this subject, dates tend to turn out like the movie. So if you go to see that sfot, romantic movie, you just might end up getting laid. If you go to see Saw, uh. Heh. Need I say more?
ANyway, I'm about to talk about you keeping your reputation. There are various signs that you've just been totally asskicked by a girl.
you: hey wanna go to a movie? what would you like to see? them: jackass you: *stand around for thirty minutes at 11 on a friday night only to come to the conclusion that youve been stood up......*
that has never happened to me, by the way, being stood up.
I mean, maybe...maybe ONCE. And that was a long time ago. Like in 1732. I was like, what, eighteen, and I ask this girl to the opera, and so I'm standing around in front of the opera for twenty minutes to find out that...uh...she sorta stood me up.....
Session over. Yeah..........that...I'm not comfortable with that subject.
(Jen: and I suck at this)
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Post by Her Royal Highness on Nov 17, 2006 22:43:25 GMT -8
oh my freaking gosh jen! dont lie. you are a freaking genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am absolutely, no joke roaring with laughter right now. you should write for the Tangent if you ever end up going to LMU. you'll put their prank writers to absolute shame. i totally love you and your genius. whenever i'm having a crummy day, i'm going to sign on to this advice column and see what andrew has to say. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!11
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Post by glamorousgnome on Nov 17, 2006 22:52:45 GMT -8
aww im so glad you like. ill definetely continue then any suggestions?
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Post by Her Royal Highness on Nov 17, 2006 22:55:04 GMT -8
hmmm... you could start making random commentary on charries' love lives or relationships or lack of them. both in the vamp and vamp again (HS) rps. that would be purtty funny idont know. again.. i'll leave it up to your genius ;D
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Andrew Baron
In Character
Professional Manwhore
69%
The Hat is On...But That's About It...
Posts: 104
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Post by Andrew Baron on Nov 18, 2006 0:23:56 GMT -8
It is little wonder why thousands of people each day use online dating services e.g. myspace
Why, you ask?
Because thousands of people with less charm and seductive qualities than I can now have the power of connecting with millions of computer nerds just like themselves.
But the question is, should your single-ass go cyber?
We'll start by confronting the subject of pictures. Just like your life is not as wonderful as on some 1950s sitcom, your date is probably not as wonderful as on Myspace.
On myspace, remember that everyone can go through a process called 'photo-shopping', where we all basically hack up our photos so badly that we end up entirely scrapping them and replacing them with a new one altogether There. It kind of looks like me if you squint your eyes.
If you use the rating scale of 1-10, ten highest on chicks/guys, to look at myspace pictures then you need to subrtract nine points from the scale automatically because chances are, thats not a photo of them at all anyway.
Alright then, the next subject is carrying on a physical, electronic relationship. If that sounds like an oxymoron to you then you're the only sane single left in this world. People think that you can kiss and hug and fondle over a private message (or a profile comment if you're into PDA), but in reality, you're really making love to your harddrive.
First of all, before you decide to type out those randy messages to Ted/Susy (depending upon your preferences), consider how desperate that sounds. YOU: i'm having an online sexual relationship. Just think about that statement for a moment.
your friend: did you use protection? you: the trojan, but i still got the virus.
oh, and here's the fun part. what if you accidentelly send that email to somebody else its the same concept as getting hammered and thinking that jumping into bed with some guy who looks like madonna on crack is really jumping into bed with your girlfriend.
Anyone digital can be a liar, so you've got to always be on your toes. Don't date some woman who says she's from Tokyo, Vietnam. Becuase she's a dumbass and is probably from some suburb in Tuscon or Ventura.
Top 8 Uh, if you're not number one, it's a no go. Because honey, that's a one night stand. People who are addicted to myspace take the top 8 very seriously, like a bad reality show, if you're not number one, you will be out.
Who hangs out on the internet? I can answer this one. The same singles who hang out at star wars conventions with their moms on the weekends. So beware with each moment you spend on myspace or wherever the hell you invest your time- you just might become one of them.
New Age Love and Marriage ARE YOU HIGH?
So log off myspace, shut down your computer, and go get laid.
Peace out,
Andrew Baron
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Post by lions_go_rawr on Nov 18, 2006 8:52:49 GMT -8
Tobias: well done. but im afraid that you are describing yourself there Andrew in the last part. Didnt you go away for a weekend to some national Star Wars convention last month?
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