Post by The doctor speaks on Dec 16, 2006 22:57:27 GMT -8
I think everyone knows what I'm going to say before I say it.
I am much obliged to you for such a fascinating and tempting question.
And here is my answer.
Dear Do I or not?
Do you or not get laid on the first date?
Well, that depends, of course, upon your looks. If you are a rather handsome, fellow, such as myself, of course, then you will most definetely not have to wait.
Or if you're talking about SHOULD you wait, as opposed to you don't have an option...
you should NOT wait.
Unless she's got some awful quality that you need a few more drinks to work out.
You see, women say they want to wait. But they really DON'T want to wait. As you're sitting there across the table from her, twirling your spaghetti about your fork as a patient gentleman, she's watching you with those glittering eyes, picturing you naked.
Just as you're picturing her naked. Plus all of your fetishes along with it.
Whatever those may be.
And you ask the question. "Hey, want to screw?"
And she says no!
You know why she says no?
Because she thinks you're a man whore.
Do you know why she thinks you're a man whore?
Because you didn't get her drunk enough to say no.
To vocalize and actualize those thoughts of her.
So let's start with this question?
How much money do you have in your wallet?
Because unless you're really sexy, those bats flying from your pocketbook are going to be intolerably unattractive.
Find/earn/steal/whatever it takes to pilfer some money in order pay for enough food and drinks to keep your dearest date delighted.
Second,
Charm. Are you a charming, sophisticated bloke, or are you rude, obnoxious and ill-tempered? (I, unfortunately, happen to be all of those depending upon who crosses me.)
Trim your nails. Dust your suit. Comb your hair, and for goodness sake, DON'T wear too much cologne, unless your woman is mental and is not repulsed by that abhorring amount of such a lovely scent.
Don't kill yourself. Don't overdo it.
So while you're curling that disobeying string of pasta about your fork, let it rest a while in your mouth. Gaze upon your date with warm and thoughtful eyes, and taste those flavors...taste them. Make her taste what is rolling about so lavishly on your tongue just by the seductive glint in your eyes.
Trust me. She won't want to wait.
And don't forget, before you leave the house, to pull back the sheets. In the heat of passion, you'll be glad you saved yourself the time.
Does that answer your question?
If you would like me to expand, please respond. Or if you would like to ask me another piece of advice......?
Sincerely,
Andrew Baron
NOTE: The opinons of Andrew Baron and/or of any other fictuous character are not necessarily the opinions of the author. (This statement applies most of the time).
I am much obliged to you for such a fascinating and tempting question.
And here is my answer.
Dear Do I or not?
Do you or not get laid on the first date?
Well, that depends, of course, upon your looks. If you are a rather handsome, fellow, such as myself, of course, then you will most definetely not have to wait.
Or if you're talking about SHOULD you wait, as opposed to you don't have an option...
you should NOT wait.
Unless she's got some awful quality that you need a few more drinks to work out.
You see, women say they want to wait. But they really DON'T want to wait. As you're sitting there across the table from her, twirling your spaghetti about your fork as a patient gentleman, she's watching you with those glittering eyes, picturing you naked.
Just as you're picturing her naked. Plus all of your fetishes along with it.
Whatever those may be.
And you ask the question. "Hey, want to screw?"
And she says no!
You know why she says no?
Because she thinks you're a man whore.
Do you know why she thinks you're a man whore?
Because you didn't get her drunk enough to say no.
To vocalize and actualize those thoughts of her.
So let's start with this question?
How much money do you have in your wallet?
Because unless you're really sexy, those bats flying from your pocketbook are going to be intolerably unattractive.
Find/earn/steal/whatever it takes to pilfer some money in order pay for enough food and drinks to keep your dearest date delighted.
Second,
Charm. Are you a charming, sophisticated bloke, or are you rude, obnoxious and ill-tempered? (I, unfortunately, happen to be all of those depending upon who crosses me.)
Trim your nails. Dust your suit. Comb your hair, and for goodness sake, DON'T wear too much cologne, unless your woman is mental and is not repulsed by that abhorring amount of such a lovely scent.
Don't kill yourself. Don't overdo it.
So while you're curling that disobeying string of pasta about your fork, let it rest a while in your mouth. Gaze upon your date with warm and thoughtful eyes, and taste those flavors...taste them. Make her taste what is rolling about so lavishly on your tongue just by the seductive glint in your eyes.
Trust me. She won't want to wait.
And don't forget, before you leave the house, to pull back the sheets. In the heat of passion, you'll be glad you saved yourself the time.
Does that answer your question?
If you would like me to expand, please respond. Or if you would like to ask me another piece of advice......?
Sincerely,
Andrew Baron
NOTE: The opinons of Andrew Baron and/or of any other fictuous character are not necessarily the opinions of the author. (This statement applies most of the time).